Andy Dhanj

Andy D.

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AndyDhanj
Andy Dhanj 2 months ago

completed a review for

Tooth Ferē feature
Genre: Animation,Family,Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Rating: 73%
The concept is outstanding, although a little strange. The structure is nearly perfect. The characters perform well. The dialogue is a little too long but still satisfactory. And the story is exceptional; it's the best story I've reviewed so far. However, and please forgive me when I say this, the story still somewhat sucks. The characters' beliefs aren't clear; that might confuse the reader. Some pieces of information in the story are never shown to the reader and just applied randomly in a scene. Please, if there's something new to the reader, set up that information before it's used and make it obvious. Don't try to complicate anything; just show it out in a way that the reader can understand. The first ten pages are the crucial part of the story since it can determine whether the reader want to proceed with the story or not, but the first twenty pages show little to no conflict and pure exposition. Perhaps the graduation is where you intended to create conflict, but again, it's not clear, or more importantly, the reader doesn't seem to care about it. Why doesn't the reader care? Because there are no stakes! Stakes are the reason why a character wants to do something. Without stakes, the reader can't emotionally connect with the them. As I said before, the beginning serves as the first impression for the story. If it doesn't work, everything else falls apart. But you can still fix it. Go back to the characters and give them each a clear belief. Then, based on those beliefs you've given to the characters, find out what they want the most. And finally, ensure to provide each of them with a reason to pursue their goal. With only three properties of the characters, you can now write the story from here, and most importantly, make sure the protagonist, or the world around them, changes at the end. Regardless, this story is almost perfect and easily the best one I've reviewed so far. I was genuinely interested about what would happen next while reading it (except at the beginning, of course). With that being said, you only need to fix the opening, and the story will approach perfection. Hope my feedback has helped you. Peace out.
AndyDhanj
Andy Dhanj 2 months ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Tooth Ferē feature
Genre: Animation,Family,Sci-Fi/Fantasy
When a tooth skips processing in an attempt to get home, he sets off a dangerous chain of events that threatens to destroy the entire Fairy Realm unless the Tooth Fairy can find and process the tooth before it's too late.
AndyDhanj
Andy Dhanj 2 months ago

completed a review for

MMPR feature
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy,Action/Adventure
Rating: 60%
Some parts aren't formatted properly, so please check your script for that. The concept is good. The structure is nice and clear. The characters are almost perfect. The dialogue, even though some parts are really lengthy and uninteresting, still somewhat works out. And please forgive me when I say this, but the story sucks. Everything else is fine or even good, except for the story. The entire story is solely about fighting and dominance. Perhaps it could be made into a good film, but the philosophical conflict is not clear. The characters don't have obvious beliefs—the reader doesn't know what they believe in and why they do so. Moreover, the reader has to care and empathize with the characters. Maybe the part where Kimberly passes away is the best part in this aspect, but the rest of the story doesn't show clear stakes. Stakes are the reason why the characters want to do something, and if they don't achieve their goals, something happens. That's what makes the reader care for the characters. It brings the story to life and provides the reader with different perspectives on life. Throughout the story, the characters keep trying and failing until at the climax, they attempt one last time and finally succeed. So, now go back to your script and see if you can create beliefs for the characters. When they each have a belief, it'll be easy to find out what they want, and so are the stakes. Nevertheless, this script is already good, and it was pretty fun to read it. You only need to fix the story, and everything will approach perfection. Hope my feedback has helped you. Peace out.
AndyDhanj
Andy Dhanj 2 months ago

just claimed a review for a script.

MMPR feature
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy,Action/Adventure
Rita Repulsa forces the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers to the edge of defeat. Forcing them to count on each other after their mentor has been lost.
AndyDhanj
AndyDhanj
Andy Dhanj 2 months ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Nest Egg feature
Genre: Crime,Comedy
A retired contractor with tax problems discovers a buried treasure he's been living above for years.
AndyDhanj
AndyDhanj
Andy Dhanj 2 months ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Mystery Can short
Genre: Animation,Sci-Fi/Fantasy
In a dystopian near future, a man goes to great lengths to acquire food, but his food wants to kill him.
AndyDhanj
Andy Dhanj 2 months ago

completed a review for

SVF: Reborn feature
Genre: Action/Adventure,Horror,Comedy
Rating: 7%
Overall, this story is almost halfway there. Everything seems to fall apart, but at least the primary foundation somewhat holds the other elements together. I might be wrong, but there's always room for improvement. Just need to fix the philosophical conflict and you're already halfway there. SCORE BREAKDOWN: A. By the fundamental elements: Concept: Poor Story: Fair Structure: Poor Character development: Poor Dialogue: Poor Overall: Poor B. By the mistakes (in no particular order): Initial score: 10/10 1. Unclear philosophical conflict: – 0.5 points (minus 0.5 points) 2. Too much profanity: – 1.5 points 3. Quite too many flashbacks: – 0.75 points 4. Characters don't change: – 1 point 5. Characters don't have a clear goal: – 1 point 6. Irrelevant concept: – 0.5 points 7. Repetitive scenes: – 0.75 points Tally: 4/10
AndyDhanj
Andy Dhanj 2 months ago

just claimed a review for a script.

SVF: Reborn feature
Genre: Action/Adventure,Horror,Comedy
Slaying demons and kicking ass are his specialty.